Kidopia - Kids??????

Kids??????

My fiancee, who i haven't heard or seen in three weeks, told me that we should have kids. I'm worrying because my father said that i should not have kids till I really know I want them. I don't really know. My fiancee is totally pushing me to say yes.

Public Comments

wait until you get married first. do things in order, you'll be glad you did!
If you don't give her kids, someone else will.
my mom has told me since i could remember.

dont have kids till you have a nest.

thats what birds do.

they dont mate till they have everything they need.

and wait till your married.

its a big deal.
I think if she is pushing you to have kids she's not the one for you. If you want kids and your dad says no and you don't live with him then do listen and also if you don't have the money or a good job then don't just wait god will see you through just ask god what to do he will help you.
If this woman were right for you she'd attempt to compromise for the benefit of your combined happiness. If she is already trying to dictate what happens in your life regardless of your needs, how will it be in 10 years after your 2.3 kids?
Tell your fiancee that you need to think about children. If you get married and you don't want children but your spouse does, you'll have a problem. Deal with this issue before hand.
Don't do it if you're not sure, it would be the worst mistake of your life because you'll be responsible for them for a very long time, it's not like you can return them if you don't like them. This is a very important, life-changing decision that you need to be ready for and not be pressured into.
Having children is a permanent life changing event. I was nervous when I was pregnant with my son and wondered if I had made the right decision. He is one and half years now and I love being a parent! Children need stability though. Be sure your partner is someone you are going to be with for a looooooong time. Too many children now days are from broken homes.
its all on u if u want kids say yes or else u can follow your fathers advice
Run.. Run fast and far. Now.
You shouldn't have kids if you aren't ready to have them. What's your fiancee's hurry. You aren't even married yet?
The fact that you haven't seen or heard from her in 3 weeks could be a sign that this isn't a good idea. If there are any doubts at all, within either of you, then your Father is right, you should wait (Father knows best..lol)!

Know that I am speaking from experience when telling you this. I too had a fiance that wanted a child, and I reluctantly gave her one, even though my Father had tried to warn me the same way that yours has. My son is now 10 years old, and I haven't seen him in years, not by choice, but because his mother and I later split up and she moved away, leaving her whereabouts unknown to me, however I still have to pay $100 a week in child support through the courts until he is 18.

I am in no way trying to scare you, but just trying to let you know that having a child is a LIFE long commitment, regardless of the duration of your relationship. Think things through, express your concerns to your fiancee, and hopefully she will understand. If not, maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship and find out if its you that she really wants, or a child. If your happiness matters to her at all, she should be willing to wait. Having a child should be something that you do when you are BOTH ready, not just her. To demand this of you when she knows how you feel about it would be very selfish of her, and may clue you into how things would be down the road.
Your father is right, having kids and raising them is a lot of responsibilities, so before you say "I do" plan ahead. My advise exposed yourself and your fiancee around kids, volunteer in a daycare or preschool, baby sit nephews/nieces or friends kids, talk to other parents and ask a lot of questions on how they are coping with their kids! " Having your own child is a worthwhile experienced, having your own child is also a life changing experienced." My question is: "Are you ready for both"??